French Lessons
Are these really games? Well, we had fun playing them…
Trackie Bottomy
This was a procedure performed most nights in Keith (Duckfoot, Funky) Butler.
As he left the truck, cymbal case in one hand, clothes bag in the other, a roadie would be dispatched. Their task? To whip Keith's tracksuit bottoms down. Timing was crucial; Keith had to be in the middle of the road when they struck. With his kecks around his ankles—and both hands occupied—he would be stranded, unable to move or recover his dignity. This operation could be performed 5 or 6 times during a busy week. Oh, how we laughed.
There was one exceptional night when the operation did not need to be executed.
Keith jumped out of the cab at his usual drop off point only to disappear down a recently dug, water filled, ditch.
Trackie Bottomy not required!
Guess the drop-off point
Five band members, three roadies and 2 hangers on don't all fit into the cab of a Luton Head Transit. The best place for most of them is therefore in the back with all the equipment. This is fine, but if you're in the back you have absolutely no idea where you are. So, one of the best games you can play on the way home is guess the drop-off point. It's quite a simple game. You work out where you are by the turns of the van and the frequency and colour of the lights overhead. (Street lights show through the roof of Luton Head vans).
This can be quite challenging when you're tired and full of Lager/Beer/Rum/Weed/Lighter Fluid*. Add to this the excitement that at any time the van could be pulled over by the police and you have a great game (honest). Ask Rob, he'd decided we were outside Kev's house, and was standing with his knob in his hand ready to dive out for a pee, when the police women opened the van's back door.
* Not that anybody in or working for the band ever used any of these substances. (By the way, if you're thinking that travellers on various forms of white powder would always win, you're wrong. They were usually even further off the mark than most.)